Thongs of Praise

See what I did there? I did a pun in the title and I used a word that everyone finds funny…

Why aren’t you laughing? I may as well have said this at the end of the gig I did a few hours ago, but instead I just glared at the audience (nine poets and a barman), pointed, and said, ‘I’ll have words!’ Which, on reflection, was an appropriate threat for a poetry gig, though sadly I wasn’t allowed to share any more words at that moment due it being the next poet’s turn.

In his show Content Provider, Stewart Lee regularly taunts ‘the Southend theatre people’ in the top row. Maybe I should plan my anger next time. Anything less than laughter with tears will result in a rehearsed sneer and silly name calling. I’ll heckle the audience and pretend it’s pretending, when actually I’m struggling to cope with their neutral expressions and my staggering sense of entitlement.


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